What is a romantic relationship?
I don’t believe relationships are necessarily “conventional”. Each relationship has its style and secrets and charm and characteristics. But ultimately, relationships are about having someone who sees you, who understands you, and with whom you share life with. I see relationships as partnerships in which you take on the world together. I also see the most beautiful moments within them as the cuddle coming back from a night out, the thought in the middle of the day “I hope they is doing well [in wherever/whatever they are doing]”, or even the moment when someone farts or is sweaty and you don’t find it gross because you have such a deep tenderness for them.
Rom coms don’t show those parts enough, and they also don’t show the work that each relationship takes, whether that be friendship, family, or romantic. I will never want a so-called “conventional” relationship, or how the world sees what that type of relationship is. I believe that a few months of long-distance is inevitable in the world we live in now and in the type of relationship I’d want to be in – one that encourages both parties to reach for the stars.
Relationships that feel like home
Yesterday, toastmasters’ theme was “home“, and the quote was “You can have more than one home. You can carry your roots with you, and decide where they grow” (Henning Mankell). Well, I have the great fortune of having many homes, which indeed can feel unrooted at times. But my hope is that whichever relationship I’m in will feel like home. Just like seeing my brother or Lea feels like home; just like seeing my best friends in Chengdu feels like home. A place of safety where you can share your deepest thoughts and emotions and be vulnerable with the knowledge that your partner will hold you, understand you, and love you all the more.
That’s my vision. It’s a beautiful one, and perhaps even a rose-tinted one. But I believe in it.
